This year our oldest turned 4, and we had a new baby. Also, today is Mother’s Day.
Balancing my time between my two kids is still a struggle — a struggle which I was not prepared for.
I was also not prepared on how emotionally draining it can be. I was watching Ali Wong’s new Netflix special this morning and one of her jokes mentioned how our interest in glittery / bedazzled / rhinestone-y things is to compensate for the light inside of us getting sucked out by motherhood. I found it funny. My husband on the other hand wondered if that’s how I felt. Truth be told, I have my days. Just a couple of weeks ago I was walking around the mall looking for an outfit for our daughter’s Christening and I almost broke down because none of what I tried on properly fit. The baby weight usually doesn’t bother me but that day it did, and it creeps up on me once in a while.
Motherhood is tough. Keeping your tiny humans alive and raising them to be good people while keeping your s**t together and not losing your sense of self is tough.
All I can hope for is to be half the mother my mom is, and for my kids to understand I’m doing the best I can.
Their smile melts my heart.
Their tears and pain breaks my soul.
Their well being is my top priority.
They are my world.